Jack Valjack
April 26, 2006
This is the story of Jack Valjack.
He stole some silver, then took a whack
at the priest who tried to give him more
and whose gushing blood then covered the floor
while Jack Valjack scrambled out the door
and said, "I belong to the Devil!
Yes, I belong to the Devil!"
He went down the road and then, of course, he
knocked on the door of the Sisters of Mercy.
They gave him a meal and a bath and a bed,
And, you know, I'm sure it was something they said
That pissed him off and triggered the rage
that caused him to go on an awesome rampage --
he left all the sisters raped and crying,
and the mother superiour bleeding and dying.
Finally he stood before the King,
who said, "Hey, come on, don't do that kinda thing."
But this is the deal with Jack Valjack,
He might be white or he might be black,
But Christian charity just doesn't reach him.
Only a crack on the head can teach him.
And after the crack, he still needs to go
to a reform school run by Doctor Morreau.
So, nice little moms, your thinking is bent,
you don't forgive when they don't repent.
Just stand your ground, don't be a jerk --
No slobbering shit is ever gonna work
When a guy belongs to the Devil.
When a guy belongs to the Devil.
Copyright © 2006